"The Underground" used to be a pun.

BASEMENT SHOWS!

where i come from, there are two ways to play a show if you have a band or you rap or whatever.

1) Beg a promoter to get you on a show, then sell a minimum amount of tickets which you are supposed to get a cut on depending on how you sell.

pros:
a) you probably get to play with a band like Thursday or Thrice, if that's what you're in to.
b) you'll get to be on a stage with lights and stuff!

cons:
a) the promoter will rip you off and you won't get any money no matter how many tickets you sell, but:

aa) no one will buy your tickets

c) no one shows up for the first band anyway
d) you can't drink because you're 16
e) the kids who are there will hate you no matter how good you are
f) there will probably be a fight during your set
g) you're going home with all of that merch you spent an hour arranging on a table, no one wants your stupid t-shirt


Or, our other option:

2) Get a PA and throw the show in your basement

pros:
a) you set the price, take donations, mandatory or otherwise
b) odds are you can walk to the show, and walk home, which means DRUNK!
c) you can get a keg and charge people money for it

cc) drunk people like bad music better than sober folk

d) it's CHEAPER FOR EVERYONE INVOLVED
e) you can get a reputation as that cool kid who throws shows in his basement

ee) chixdiggit

f) a camera crew might show up and tape the show, then a year later when you're 3,000 miles from home you can buy a DVD about your basement in a Best Buy

ff) but no one will find this nearly as impressive as you do

g) your favorite band might play your basement!
h) you get to kick people out of your house, for whatever reason you feel like giving.
i) there will probably be a fight!
j) it's A LOT OF FUN!!!

cons:
a) your property will get destroyed. this is a promise.
b) there will be underage kids there drinking, and it's your fault if something happens to them.
c) someone will throw up on your bathroom/kitchen/livingroom/basement/roof floor and you will have to clean it up
d) the cops will come, and unless your talk is smooth as miracle whip you're going to give them all of your money, either right there or later, in court.
e) your roomates will be pissed off because it's so loud and they have an exam tomorrow

ee) they have shitty taste in music anyway, so fuck them.

f) sometimes no one will come, especially if you didn't buy any booze, which makes the bands unhappy.
g) there will probably be a fight.
h) your girlfriend will be pissed off because you're too busy making sure your house doesn't collapse to talk to her about her cat for three hours (it bit her face!).

last night this kid i met on Pearl Street (who is also from jersey, go figz) and i threw a show in his basement. we had beer, a guy with turntables (who was actually really fucking good) me on the wiimote mix (that's right, i got really good with that thing) and a bunch of dudes on the mic. it was awesome! the maintenance guy in the building came and shut the show down right as it was getting started. he said we had 15 minutes to pack it in or he'd call the cops. dick.

so we moved the show to some kid's room. this building is like a glorified dorm, but there are no RAs! sweet! the DJ took off with his shit because he couldn't mix sitting on the fucking floor, but when your turntables are a remote control, you can rock all night. so we did!

i forgot what it was like to have a sort of illegitimate show in some kid's room/house that you don't know. it's really the only way to go. boulder doesn't have too much of these things as far as i know, but my friend came over last night before the show dressed like angelina jolie in "hackers" and said she was off to a rave in some kid's living room. so perhaps the basement scene here is alive and kicking, or maybe not. that's the best part about it, if you talk to the right people, you can know about all sorts of awesome (often free!) things to do around town. myspace/the internet in general made this a lot easier. we used to have to run off copies at kinkos at 4am just so we didn't have to pay for them to promote a show; then the cops would get a hold of a flier and your show would be shut down. no paper fliers=no cops.

but get this!

in new brunswick, cops used to troll facebook looking for shows (not parties, the frats were always allowed to have their shit go on til 4am) and shut 'em down.

once i threw a show on a friday night. it started at 7PM and was slated to go until 11PM, pretty reasonable for a friday night.

the cops shut it down at 8:30.

we walked over to "Frat Row" and people were fighting, drinking, and probably fucking in the street. two hours later.

and my show was the real threat to the city.

i went to court to fight this ridiculous noise violation (i lost) and then a month later for some traffic bullshit. there were these two little harlots on the stand when i got in the room talking to the judge. the conversation went like this:

Judge: Dismissed? Why should i dismiss this case, you were up at 2:30 on a tuesday night in an apartment building underage drinking and playing the music so loud it woke up people in the next building. when the officer showed up, your friend punched him in the face. why on earth should i dismiss this?

Harlot: Um, hehe, i don't know, why not?

Judge: Hardy-har-har-har, alright, now you girls be good

Harlots in harmonized unison on the devil's chord: WE WILL, YOUR HONOR!

no justice, no peace.

the point of all of this is, it doesn't matter if the cops come, if you have to pay 300 bucks and everyone you know bails on you for cash even though they were there too and they helped make the mess. it's fucking worth it. some of the best shows i've ever been to in my life i've had in my own basement. bands like Paulson, We're All Broken, Hot Cross, GDP, Lickgoldensky and Outsmarting Simon played in my basement. sometimes you even make money off the show, if a bunch of people come and no bullshit happens, all the bands get paid and you can keep some cash for yourself as well.

listen, boulder, we need someone with a basement i can throw shows in, holla at me.