You say you want an evolution? (Part 1)

According to Wikipedia:

Every major movement in Western history has been accompanied by its own collection of protest songs, from slave emancipation to women's suffrage, the labor movement, civil rights, the anti-war movement, the feminist movement, the environmental movement. Over time, the songs have come to protest more abstract, moral issues, such as injustice, racial discrimination, the morality of war in general (as opposed to purely protesting individual wars), globalization, inflation, social inequalities, and incarceration . Such songs generally become more popular during times of social disruption among social groups.

As it stands, we're embroiled in a world which is constantly at war, women and minorities are still fighting for their voices and rights (even right here in America!), and globalization is scaring the shit out of pretty much everyone except for the Indians, the Chinese, and the major American corporations which are setting up shop overseas. So what is the soundtrack to our revolution going to be like?

are we going to have a revolution?

will it be televised?

First, a little background:

We can look at songs like "We shall overcome" and "Blowin' in the wind" and "What's Goin' On?" as more modern examples of songs which accompany a social movement and actually do some good. Louis Armstrong's "What did i do to be so Black and Blue", and Lewis Allan's "Strange Fruit" spoke of racial tensions in the South in the 20s and 30s; came with a message and were taken seriously by the consumers and listeners of music then. This helped crest the wave of radical change that needed to take place in order for the civil rights movement to do its magic. I'm not arguing here that these songs were responsible really in any way for the results that MLK and the civil rights movement acheived, but music is the language of our souls, it probes deeper into the human heart than words, legislation, law, or violence. You can listen to a song and disagree with its message, but the meaning itself slides into the soul when accompanied by melody and rhythm far better than dead words alone.

With "This machine kills facists" emblazoned on his guitar, Woodie Guthrie wrote the songs which inspired a generation of American radicals, "This land is your land" and "Deportee" were among the most notable.

This seems to be the first time that music was a threat the the big political machine that seeks to control our lives and limit our freedoms. Guthrie and The Almanac Singers were probably the most important labor-movement band, but they were blacklisted and disbanded shortly after the attack on Pearl Harbor.

The next hugely influential musical movement happened during the most volatile time in 20th century America: the 1960s. The Vietnam War and Civil Rights movements coincided to produce the first real countercultural movements backed by mass media (music) in the history of the nation. Bob Dylan, Pete Seeger, Joan Baez, Phil Ochs, and Barry McGuire (First protest song to reach #1 on the charts in the US was McGuire's "Eve of Destruction")

EVE OF DESTRUCTION

The eastern world, it is exploding
Violence flarin’, bullets loadin’
You’re old enough to kill, but not for votin’
You don’t believe in war, but what’s that gun you’re totin’
And even the Jordan River has bodies floatin’

But you tell me
Over and over and over again, my friend
Ah, you don’t believe
We’re on the eve
of destruction.

Don’t you understand what I’m tryin’ to say
Can’t you feel the fears I’m feelin’ today?
If the button is pushed, there’s no runnin’ away
There’ll be no one to save, with the world in a grave
[Take a look around ya boy, it's bound to scare ya boy]

And you tell me
Over and over and over again, my friend
Ah, you don’t believe
We’re on the eve
of destruction.

Yeah, my blood’s so mad feels like coagulatin’
I’m sitting here just contemplatin’
I can’t twist  the truth, it knows no regulation.
Handful of senators don’t pass legislation
And marches alone can’t bring integration
When human respect is disintegratin’
This whole crazy world is just too frustratin’

And you tell me
Over and over and over again, my friend
Ah, you don’t believe
We’re on the eve
of destruction.

Think of all the hate there is in Red China
Then take a look around to Selma, Alabama
You may leave here for 4 days in space
But when you return, it’s the same old place
The poundin’ of the drums, the pride and disgrace
You can bury your dead, but don’t leave a trace
Hate your next-door neighbor, but don’t forget to say grace
And… tell me over and over and over and over again, my friend
You don’t believe
We’re on the eve
Of destruction
Mm, no no, you don’t believe
We’re on the eve
of destruction.

tell me that this isn't relevant any longer

Woodie Guthrie - This land is your land buy iTunes

Barry McGuire - Eve of Destruction (Video-FUCKING AWESOME)

"The Underground" used to be a pun.

BASEMENT SHOWS!

where i come from, there are two ways to play a show if you have a band or you rap or whatever.

1) Beg a promoter to get you on a show, then sell a minimum amount of tickets which you are supposed to get a cut on depending on how you sell.

pros:
a) you probably get to play with a band like Thursday or Thrice, if that's what you're in to.
b) you'll get to be on a stage with lights and stuff!

cons:
a) the promoter will rip you off and you won't get any money no matter how many tickets you sell, but:

aa) no one will buy your tickets

c) no one shows up for the first band anyway
d) you can't drink because you're 16
e) the kids who are there will hate you no matter how good you are
f) there will probably be a fight during your set
g) you're going home with all of that merch you spent an hour arranging on a table, no one wants your stupid t-shirt


Or, our other option:

2) Get a PA and throw the show in your basement

pros:
a) you set the price, take donations, mandatory or otherwise
b) odds are you can walk to the show, and walk home, which means DRUNK!
c) you can get a keg and charge people money for it

cc) drunk people like bad music better than sober folk

d) it's CHEAPER FOR EVERYONE INVOLVED
e) you can get a reputation as that cool kid who throws shows in his basement

ee) chixdiggit

f) a camera crew might show up and tape the show, then a year later when you're 3,000 miles from home you can buy a DVD about your basement in a Best Buy

ff) but no one will find this nearly as impressive as you do

g) your favorite band might play your basement!
h) you get to kick people out of your house, for whatever reason you feel like giving.
i) there will probably be a fight!
j) it's A LOT OF FUN!!!

cons:
a) your property will get destroyed. this is a promise.
b) there will be underage kids there drinking, and it's your fault if something happens to them.
c) someone will throw up on your bathroom/kitchen/livingroom/basement/roof floor and you will have to clean it up
d) the cops will come, and unless your talk is smooth as miracle whip you're going to give them all of your money, either right there or later, in court.
e) your roomates will be pissed off because it's so loud and they have an exam tomorrow

ee) they have shitty taste in music anyway, so fuck them.

f) sometimes no one will come, especially if you didn't buy any booze, which makes the bands unhappy.
g) there will probably be a fight.
h) your girlfriend will be pissed off because you're too busy making sure your house doesn't collapse to talk to her about her cat for three hours (it bit her face!).

last night this kid i met on Pearl Street (who is also from jersey, go figz) and i threw a show in his basement. we had beer, a guy with turntables (who was actually really fucking good) me on the wiimote mix (that's right, i got really good with that thing) and a bunch of dudes on the mic. it was awesome! the maintenance guy in the building came and shut the show down right as it was getting started. he said we had 15 minutes to pack it in or he'd call the cops. dick.

so we moved the show to some kid's room. this building is like a glorified dorm, but there are no RAs! sweet! the DJ took off with his shit because he couldn't mix sitting on the fucking floor, but when your turntables are a remote control, you can rock all night. so we did!

i forgot what it was like to have a sort of illegitimate show in some kid's room/house that you don't know. it's really the only way to go. boulder doesn't have too much of these things as far as i know, but my friend came over last night before the show dressed like angelina jolie in "hackers" and said she was off to a rave in some kid's living room. so perhaps the basement scene here is alive and kicking, or maybe not. that's the best part about it, if you talk to the right people, you can know about all sorts of awesome (often free!) things to do around town. myspace/the internet in general made this a lot easier. we used to have to run off copies at kinkos at 4am just so we didn't have to pay for them to promote a show; then the cops would get a hold of a flier and your show would be shut down. no paper fliers=no cops.

but get this!

in new brunswick, cops used to troll facebook looking for shows (not parties, the frats were always allowed to have their shit go on til 4am) and shut 'em down.

once i threw a show on a friday night. it started at 7PM and was slated to go until 11PM, pretty reasonable for a friday night.

the cops shut it down at 8:30.

we walked over to "Frat Row" and people were fighting, drinking, and probably fucking in the street. two hours later.

and my show was the real threat to the city.

i went to court to fight this ridiculous noise violation (i lost) and then a month later for some traffic bullshit. there were these two little harlots on the stand when i got in the room talking to the judge. the conversation went like this:

Judge: Dismissed? Why should i dismiss this case, you were up at 2:30 on a tuesday night in an apartment building underage drinking and playing the music so loud it woke up people in the next building. when the officer showed up, your friend punched him in the face. why on earth should i dismiss this?

Harlot: Um, hehe, i don't know, why not?

Judge: Hardy-har-har-har, alright, now you girls be good

Harlots in harmonized unison on the devil's chord: WE WILL, YOUR HONOR!

no justice, no peace.

the point of all of this is, it doesn't matter if the cops come, if you have to pay 300 bucks and everyone you know bails on you for cash even though they were there too and they helped make the mess. it's fucking worth it. some of the best shows i've ever been to in my life i've had in my own basement. bands like Paulson, We're All Broken, Hot Cross, GDP, Lickgoldensky and Outsmarting Simon played in my basement. sometimes you even make money off the show, if a bunch of people come and no bullshit happens, all the bands get paid and you can keep some cash for yourself as well.

listen, boulder, we need someone with a basement i can throw shows in, holla at me.

WHO NEEDS WIIMOTE CONTROL?!

I DO!

bluetooth is far and away the coolest thing in the world.




Not because of this:


But because of this:



The wiimote, the holiest of holies in terms of FUTURISTIC DEVICES.

Video games are one thing, but today i found out something stunning.

All over the internet, Appleheads are writing open-source programs utilizing the Wiimote acceleration and gyroscope technology to allow the wiimote to communicate via bluetooth with the MacBooks.

At first, i could move my cursor around the screen with the wiimote, and it was clunky and horrible



But now, due to some awesome dudes over at the Wii to Midi Project we can take the Wiimote, download their awesome open source software, and JAM OUT in any MIDI friendly program from Garageband to Ableton Live and Propellorhead Reason. The software is still in the early stages of development, and right now you can only get notes C, D, F, A out of it, but the EXCITING part is being able to wave the Wiimote around and map the motions to oscillators, peaks, levels, &c. (In Ableton, ANYTHING YOU WANT!!!) and be able to pitch shift or modulate with the wave of your hand!

Some dude also came up with a sort of scratchy program called the Wii Loop Machine which includes some samples and a drumming program:





I haven't gotten this thing to work that well quite yet, but regardless it's QUITE EXCITING that cats out there are really pushing the technology to a new level. It seems that most of the issues with the control are primitive smoothing code in the source code, so if any of you out there has any coding experience or knows anything about gyroscopic bluetooth smoothing, comment!

The point is, no longer are devices being used strictly for what they were intended at manufacture. In this opensource world, we can lifehack our way into new instruments, technologies, and collaboration tools to broaden the musical landscape even more and hopefully eventually have live cross continental Wiimote collaborative concerts!!!!

my dad is funny

i kind of miss new york.

BOMB le MUSIC INDUSTRY!

Bomb the Music Industry is the latest project from Jeff Rosenstock, former frontman of the ska band Arrogant Sons of Bitches. Jeff and a rotating cast of musicians (some from ASOB, Mustard Plug, and Rick Johnson, to name a few) tour playing songs he writes and records, normally on a computer-studio and a booth in his bathroom. The new record, Get Warmer, actually came out on Asian Man records, but all three of their previous releases were never pressed. That’s right, this band just GIVES THEIR MUSIC AWAY!!! THE FUTURE!!! Right before I moved to Boulder, they played a show on D-Day in the attic of the Philadelphia Trocadero, an AWESOME place to see a show if you’re ever on the east coast. They don’t sell merch, but they’ll spraypaint any shirt you bring them with a logo stencil they cut with an x-acto knife. They don’t charge to play, but they accept donations for food and gas. Basically, fuck Radiohead, these guys were doing it way before. I got to talk with Jeff and John of BTMI! after they played here in Boulder last week at club 156 (in the UMC, next to the bowling alley), here’s what we got:


We started talking about smoking, and Jeff told me he had a bad cough two weeks ago, and now has been going through hot and cold flashes like he’s got menopause. They just got in from SLC, and they’re heading off to Lincoln Nebraska tomorrow. They thought Montana was worse to drive through than Nebraska, I still beg to differ.

"When Lewis and Clark got to Colorado, they were like 'This shit is gold'”. - Jeff Rosenstock


EmceeEsher: So you heard about Radiohead’s newest album, and how it’s being released, BTMI has put every record out free for download on the internet, and doesn’t sell merchandise, instead you spraypaint t-shirts and give everything away for free, asking merely for donations.


Jeff: NO, GO ON!


EE: Okay, so you heard, do you care?


Jeff: No, i mean, it’s a little weird to be historically and culturally irrelevant from now on, but it’s nice that we were culturally relevant for like, a year or two, you can’t ask too much


John: It’s not like it was our idea to put music on the internet


Jeff: Yeah, like Brian Jonestown did it for free, so like, you know, fuck it, whatever man, we didn’t know about it, so fuck it, wave of the future


EE: So, you finally pressed records.


Jeff: Well, we don’t, Mike [Asian Man Records] does. I didn’t think we’d get signed, so i asked, and he said yeah, not like it mattered cause we were still gonna put all our shit out for free, but he said he’d do it, so i said shit yeah.


EE: And this is the first album that you recorded in a real studio right? Not your bathroom on your Macintosh


Jeff: “Studio” is a really subjective term, we had more real equipment this time, the drums were recorded in a real studio, I’ll give you that, but everything else was recorded in a warehouse in Georgia, Joel Hatstat has a bunch of expensive stuff, we get along well and he makes other bands i like sound good so yeah. We didn’t pay him much or anything, and it’s not like we went in there and said “Yeah this is a real deal thing, we’re making a record for Asian Man” We were making a record and somewhere in the middle i asked Mike if he’d do it, and he said yeah. One thing really doesn’t have much to do with the other, but we still have yet to record in a real studio, which is a shame, but fuck it, because doing it ourselves is easier. You get to take your time, me and Joel stayed up every night for a month til 2AM, woke up at 8, worked, then recorded, then worked again, practiced with Pegasuses. It wasn’t like “well if you need another four hours we’re gonna need another hundred bucks” BTMI is never ever ever gonna be able to work in an environment like that, cause we have too many fucking parts.


EE: And the other three records you just did yourself?


Jeff: I just recorded our half of a split all by myself except from the drum tracks, and we had someone real master it and it came out kind of bad. We couldn’t have done [Get Warmer] without Joel, but it was more like a friendship thing


EE: Who does the art for your records?


Jeff: This one was supposed to be a comic book but it didn’t work out, and i’m psyched that we have a CD so i could do the cover art. That’s the one thing about not having merch that sucks.


John: This stencil (which they use to make shirts for fans) has a BOMB in it, and when we were in Canada the stencil said “Bomb le Music Industry”


Jeff: There’s only so much you can do when you’re not very good at using an xact-o knife


EE: How many times did you play Showerbeers tonight?


John: Like, 6?


Jeff: Yeah, we didn’t play it on tour yet, so now we’re stackin em up.


Showerbeers is a 52 second song about drinking beer in the shower. Apparently they hadn’t played it on tour yet, so they felt it necessary to play the song 6 times to extend the show. It worked! After the fourth time you’d think it’d get old, but there’s really nothing like gang-chanting “THE ONLY REASON I TAKE A SHOWER IS SO I CAN DRINK A SHOWERBEER!!!”




Here's a BTMI live clip of a song about how their bass player almost joined Every Time I Die.


Bomb the Music Industry Mainpage - where you can stream or download every one of their records for free.

Asian Man Records

MP3 of "Unlimited soup, salad, and breadstick days" off Get Warmer

DOWNLOAD GET WARMER

big thanks to Jeff and John for the interview, and to the rest of the guys and gals in the band for coming to Boulder and rocking like hell.

Are Gimmicks Still Gangsta?

This is how I write record reviews. I sit down and listen to the entire album in question and type type type. Then I do cleanup and add notes and witticisms. This task took over 10 hours to complete, as I listened to both records back to back without any breaks at all. What follows is this humble writer’s opinion on the recent Kanye West 50 Cent feud, is this just another gimmick to sell records?



Are these dudes for real? 50 Cent already retracted the statement he made about "quitting rapping" if Kanye outsells him. The albums have been out for a little while, and while 50 has a far wider audience than Kanye (topping the charts for Euro Billboard, Australia, the Czech Republic, Ireland, and New Zeland to name some) Kanye is currently winning the home game, peaking at the #1 Billboard 200 spot (50 peaked at #2) and #1 in Digital sales and #1 R&B/Hip Hop album. So both 50 and Kanye should be pretty pleased, they both sold a ton of records in a time where selling a ton of records is really hard to do (way over 2 million worldwide, each).



So, what follows is this humble writer's judgement on the feud. There isn't really a winner or a loser, as both rappers have actually come into their own a fair deal recently. Some biases I should admit: I really liked the College Dropout, and I don't really like any records by 50 cent. I understand the appeal, and I have listened to each contestant's full discography. In general, I like Kanye better, he cares about rhyme schemes and production, which is what I care about in rap music. 50 used to make club joints and murda joints, and that's all well and good, but my personal tastes don't cohere with that type of hip hop.


I bought both records through iTunes, and they each came with a digital booklet. COOL! Perhaps this will be a more standard practice for iTunes purchases, giving the consumer a digital bonus may outweigh the sensible tangibility of the jewel case. Remember Enhanced CDs!? So, it turns out that the Kanye art is done by Takashi Murakami, huge fucking bonus. Murakami is fucking ill, he did this Louis Vouitton shit:


And the Kanye cover is awesome too. So bonus points right away. In fact, Murakami was gracious (or paid) enough to do six panels for the booklet, each as dope as the last. The rest of the booklet contains all of the production credits and lyrics for each and every song, a great feature, as lyrics are (as far as this humble writer is concerned) the most important facet of hip-hop. Not that Kanye is a wordsmith, but there's a bunch of clever shit in here that may be lost on the ear due to the distracting quality some of Kanye's beats have.


50, however, chose to go with the up-close-and-personal face shot





Come on dude, really? You're all sorts of pissed off and squishing your face. What is this? If you stare at it long enough it's legitemately frightening, so credit for that. But inside the booklet? No lyrics, pics of 50 eating a gun with a fork and knife, 50 looking away from a copy of the New York Post, 50 smoking a cigar that probably cost more than my rent, 50 grabassing a fly honey, a fly honey pants diving into 50 pubes, wow. Kind of graphic. But still well layed out and conceptually interesting. Why no lyrics though? We need to know what you're saying, becuase a lot of it is unintelligible.

The records have been out for a while and a lot has been said about each. I listened to both in a row one after the other starting with Kanye, here's what i got:

Good Morning

Multisyllabic nutsness typical of an older better Kanye. He obviously learned to rap from Jay-z, and looped samples always better than synths, though kanye layers the samples with enough saw moogs to make soft cell want to sue him for infringement.

Champion

The Hook is awesome but mixed weird, the synths are way louder on the mix than the sample, and i don’t appreciate him calling Lauryn Hill out for not rapping anymore, though the message is not lost. I don’t like the hook when it’s sung by 13 people at once, it's overwhelming and doesn't flow nicely back into the verse. Maybe i’m just fed up with macho posturing “i’m the best in this shit” but this whole song is a lot of junk Kanye has spit already. You've said you're “the best”, now get better. Also, STEELY DAN SAMPLE!!!!

Stronger

DAFT PUNK SAMPLES!!! MORE AWESOME!!!
It makes one wonder how much work this sample took, but it’s amazing nonetheless. Apparently the DP dudes helped him mix this up and Timbaland did the drums, so it's curious how much work Kanye himself did on the beat. Nonetheless:
“Often the Christian in Christian Dior…i ask coz i’m not sure does anyone make real shit anymore”
A lot of the rhymes are slants, but the bridge and hook are fucking awesome.
“Me likey”?
You can only rhyme “a lot” with “a lot” so many times, and those sunglasses in the video are retarded, if only because he might be the only human who could pull those off.
And, the outro hook reapeats like 3 times too many.
Also, the song is 3:13 long, only two verses and a bunch of “uhs” and “uh huhs”, it feels like it goes on forever. He should have cut it to a 2 minute banger, but who the fuck am i?

I Wonder

Again, the sample which is really awesome gets ruined by the digi synth violins through the intro
“on your nerves”
“what he deserves”
word.
Not good, i could really live without this song, it seems like a throwaway, lots of overused rhymes he’s gone through before, the sample is great, but the synthwork is really annoying.

Good Life

T-pain is annoying, and vocoders are worse, even worse are sped up samples which Kanye himself popularized and then later panned. Alvin and the motherfucking chipmunks should not be singing the hooks on records in 2007. Shit, it’s catchy as fuck and the rhymes are generally really nice. The first verse is wak until the last line, and the rest of the track really picks up from there. “MORE ASS THAN THE MODELS!” That’s hilarious. “50 told me go ahead switch your style up and if they hate let em hate and watch the money pile up” The line is delivered perfect, like the whole song was made just for it. Snakes on a plane, awesome.

Can’t Tell Me Nothing

The other single, Multis all through the first verse, the chorus is mixed really loud. The production is weird, alot of the lyrics are good, but i really hate the chorus. This track isn't good overall.

Barry Bonds


Here's another hit, Barry Bonds. Very good. Doing pretty good as geniuses go? Shaddup. OH MAN WEEZY!!! Does he write it or freestyle it? WHO KNOWS!? Either way this is the worst verse he's spit in a while. I'm sad now. His mixtapes are fucking phenomenal, so whatever.

Drunk and Hot Girls

The hook sounds like Eminem is singing it. Ah, Jon Brion is back on the track. He may very well be my favorite producer ever, his solo shit is wonderful and the Huckabees soundtrack is still one of the coolest sounding albums i've heard in a long time. This is a stupid song though! It's hard to listen to the lullaby sound going on here for much longer than a minute, let alone an entire track. Mos sounds great, but why did it have to be on this track? Is there some hyper-artistic irony at play here, if so i don't get it. I can picture an ex girlfriend of mine who liked to drink wine coolers and give other dudes hand jobs loving this song. But, "he's not talking about me".

Flashing Lights

Sounds like a beat The Streets would/have used. But the synths are actually hot for once. Hate paparazzi more than Nazis? One takes pictures of you, one would have you killed. Reevaluate Mr. West. The beat is fucking awesome and i like the hook alot, but the verses are some of the least impressive on the album so far.

Everything I Am

DJ Premier! Cool!
Also, George Clinton had SOMETHING to do with this apparently, awesome, maybe that howling in the background of the chorus?!
BRING THE NOIZE!
The lyrics are awesome on this track. Listen to it, this should have been the single from the start.
It's great, sincerity is hard to do without sounding corny in rap music, but for some reason it works here.

The Glory

Awesome sample. This gets stuck in my head alot. This should have been the other single! Well, Stronger should stay up there, but put this out next dude. The bass kills in the sample, the strings are awesome, and even the sped up sample sounds great. He has alot of gang-vocal choruses on this record, and i think they're growing on me.
ULTRA TRAVOLTA! This track kills, i'm really impressed. Shouts out to all three Big Bigs. This fucking rules!

Homecoming

Chris Martin of Coldplay Cool!
Eh, not a standout despite the good guest spot.

Big Brother

Sentimental shoutout track to Jay-Z. Ooh, calls him out! Apparently he had to buy tickets to a show like everyone else, this is a strange anecdote to thow in here. Some more calling out. Some more props. I wonder what Jay thinks about this...

So that's it, piece of cake, album went pretty quickly, and overall it's good. Got way strong at the end which is weird for hip-hop and especially for Kanye. 50's got his work cut out for him, let's see what he's got to offer to the fray.

My Gun Go Off

Gunshots open the record.
Immedeately, the song is about killing.
Oh man, Eminem references, isn’t he ON this record?
Nothing complicated lyrically, but admittedly at least he’s RHYMING on this record. Flippin, trippin, skippin, whatever

Man Down

More synthy beats, really annoying, when are fake violins going to go away from rap music?
Why the fuck is this edited, upon further inspection, it seems like all of the cut vocals are references to police...weird.
Cause your, baby's momma is my, baby's momma
I come through to see my little nigga with the llama
What the fuck could this mean?
“i’ll murder them”!!??!
Weird hook, sung annoyingly.
This isn't very good so far, i'm no fan from the get go, but this is supposed to be the gangsta shit and while it's topically concerned with killing and selling drugs, it adds nothing new to the mix.

I’ll Still Kill

Gunshots start this song too, and then Akon whines about some bullshit, yeah, akon is going to kill me if i get to fucking around, then he’ll sing about it like Beyonce, wonderful. The only ones who could sing gospel about killing people effectively was bone thugs, anything else like this sucks because bone thugs did it right the first time, and there’s only one way to sing and kill people at the same time (Unless you’re Nellie McKaye, i guess) More threatening posturing and killing rhymes, at least they do in fact rhyme...but standards should not be lowered for this. Didn't he spit "back down" and "mack round" on the last track? Admittedly, 50 Cent is not making records for me, but I feel like this is much more of the same shit but with an alienating quality due to its ultraviolence and little other content.

I Get Money
Audio Two sample, cool! Maybe this one won’t suck
It doesn’t! it really kind of kicks ass. Sure it’s the same murder rap or whatever, but shit actually rhymes in this song!!!
This song was probably ghostwritten.


Come & Go

AT LAST! A song about using women purely for sex and then kicking them out of the crib! Someone has finally brought something new to hip hop.

The xylophone in the hook doesn’t help at all

And no matter how you slant it, “women” doesn’t rhyme with “feelings”

Ayo Technology
We come to the single:
Coming from Jersey, i listened to a lot of electronica that sounds like it was sampled from gameboys, in fact, i saw a whole band comprised of only dudes playing game boys once. That was way better than this. Another typical 50 club track, get girls to shake their asses and whatever, J Tims sings the hook, which is annoying “ooh, she wants it, blah blah” timbaland did the production, which i do really like, but it doesn’t save the song.

New age new craze new phase….ugh

Ayoooooo, a song that makes a statement, once again! Tired of using technology, want you right in front of me, could this be a comment on how the internet is alienating us romantically because of social networks and iPhones? Probably not. Obviously that’s the meaning of the song, but nothing TOO profound, because 50’s gonna do it from side to side, left to right, do the hokey pokey etc. etc.

Follow my Lead

Here’s the sensitive side of 50, he’s got the cootie shot too, jesus!
Janet Jackson said “i miss you much, i wanna feel your touch” Jesus, it’s like she’s Aristotle.
The sample is awesome, but 50’s drawling and slobbering all over the track ruins it irreparably.

Movin On Up
Even the sample is boring here, the first verse went by without me even realizing it had happened, and i’m 1:30 in to the song and i’m not sure where the verses or the hooks are…shout to an OutKast single…(so fresh so clean)…”chromed up” rhymes with “on up”
Throw away track of the year.

Straight to the Bank
This song kicks ass until “i made a mil”

Even if kanye tried to make saying “faggot” on a record taboo, 50 don’t give a fuck, but he obviously doesn’t mean it in the homophobic sense

Got more whips than a runaway slave…nice

Ugh the hook is annoying, ha, ha hahahaha. Fuck this is awful

And what is the difference between this and anything dre ever put out production wise? It sounds like the next episode.

50 actually sounds like he can rap here, which is good.

The hook is too annoying for words, the second time is somehow way worse.

Amusement Park

Finally, a gangsta carnival, just what the world needs. The vocals in the first chorus/verse thing are mixed WAY too loud.

Fully loaded clip

Unremarkable.

God this is a long record, every single track grinds on without variety or anything interesting at all production wise

Peep Show

Okay, the eminem guest track…he’s nowhere to be found until 2:33! other than the occasional “yup” or “uh huh” or “that’s right” or other affirmatives.

Eminem singing totally sucks, he was so fucking good. He was concerned with rhyme schemes, battling, etc. now he just gets in the booth and lays down the first thing that comes to mind. It sucks, how can he stand there with 50 and let that shit pass as rap music?

All of me

Multilayered vocals are mixed totally wrong or my stereo is on the fritz for real. Equal chances it is either of these two possible scenarios. Mary J. is awesome, as usual, what a beautiful woman. The sample rules and the beat is well done; the usual 50 drawl actually sounds really good here. This may be the best track on the record, Mary J. sounds great with 50, but what about the beef with The Game and that MVP joint? Hm?

It's all bogus.

That's the end of the story, i don't know if it was a backroom deal or what, but this 50 vs. Kanye thing is just a gimmick to sell records. Sure they probably had a gentlemanly contest going, but in the back of each of their heads, all they thought was "this is going to make us a killing" which, as previously mentioned, it did, and continues to do so.

Curtis 187

187 is the police code for homocide, so i'm told. Threatening murder and robbery, these lyrics don't differ dramatically from anything else on this record or anything else he's put out before. Thanks for "releasing" your real name dude, we all know it anyhow.

Touch the Sky

LAST TRACK!
TONY YAYO!

I don't know, maybe it's me, but about halfway through the record i really couldn't pay any attention to what is going on whatsoever. All the songs kind of melt into one another and most are unremarkable regardless. Now and then he'll spit a good line, and most of the guest artists do a decent job (except eminem, who will never be forgiven for his involvement here).

So that solves it, right?

Kanye wins, 50 Loses

Of course not stupid.

This is just my opinion, and what the fuck do i know? I wanted to solve the debate once and for all, and i did so, in mine own eyes. The truth is, the entire "competition" is bunk from the start. 50 has the global market locked, and no matter what, people will always buy his records. The man is an industry unto himself, and his self-promotion and marketing know no bounds. His interviews are articulate, interesting, and generally intellectual. 50 is an amazing actor (not talking about get rich or die trying), he plays his character perfectly. He writes hit records, that's his job and he does a damn good job at it.

Kanye has the American market locked for the time being, 50 still sold a shit ton of records and good for them both. See, they understand the market, kids don't want to buy records anymore, they can just download them for free! In order for either one of these artists to "win" the competition, people have to buy their albums, it's implicit in the terms of the contest itself! Of course 50 won't stop putting out solo records until he himself knows his time is up.

Personally, i liked the Kanye record better, this article took me a week and a half to write and edit, and now that it's over i've listened to each record over 10 times. A few of the tracks on the 50 record stick out, particularly:

My Gun Go Off
Ayo Technology
Straight to the Bank.

The Kanye tracks that are worth mention are:
Everything except Drunk & Hot Girls, pretty much.

It's a really solid album. All the beats & hooks are ridiculously catchy and provide for endless brain loops repeating the choruses over and over. He became more lyrically advanced, got some awesome samples running throughout the record, and really grew up a lot.

If you want to know who won the feud, buy the records and judge for yourself. Listening to music is an art of subjectivity, no one can force you to like something and no one should tell you to hate something. This is how i felt while listening to each record, but you, my fair readers:

MAKE UP YOUR OWN MIND!

Does the Shuffle feature on your iPod/iTunes send you into a deterministic universe where free will is dead?

Let's find out.

Most of us have been acquainted with the phenomenon i'll call "iPod favoritism", to be defined hereafter as:

the playing of two or more songs back to back which have been previously played back to back

or

that extremely fucking annoying coincidence that finally forced me to delete Tori Amos' 'Boys for Pele' because my iPod liked it too much. i mean Tori Amos is alright, but Jesus Christ, i caught a light sneeze a few too many times becuase of this shit.



So what causes this? Is it a feature of the algorithm apple uses to determine it's shuffle? Is it just lazy coding? Perhaps it skips a certain number of tracks in the playlist when shuffling. A quick experiment will show that's probably not the case, as certain artists or songs get played in a row...so it's nothing strict.

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN!?

Well since there is not really any such thing as true mathematical randomness, it's got to be some kind of deterministic thing, the mechanism of which we must sadly abandon the quest for.

NOW WHERE WERE WE?

Oh yes, here's a quick sample of 10 songs which followed one another in my iPod which i have listened to in a row:

Iron Maiden - The Thin Line Between Love & Hate
Frank Zappa - The Nancy & Mary Music
XTC - Generals & Majors
Radiohead - The Gloaming
R.E.M. - Ignoreland (iPod favorite track)
Elvis Costello - Imagination is a Powerful Deceiver (a song i skip alot, such that the first two seconds are stuck in my head alot in an annoying loop)
XTC - New Town Animal in A Furnished Cage
MF DOOM - All Outta Ale
Steel Pulse - Roller Skates
Edan - Sylable Practice

So what have we learned other than ian is very weird and has few discretions when it comes to genre? For one thing, I immediately recognized the first two seconds of that Elvis Costello song, but out of context that little guitar part is something else entirely. It's its own thing in my brain, an entity separate entirely from the track itself.

You see, the shuffle feature robs us of free will if only slightly by putting our music into a deterministic framework, instead of letting us decide. music can set the tone for the day, affect your mood, remind you of an obligation or event past or present, the list goes on. If you let (demonstrably crummy) math decide how your day will be, you're surrendering a little bit of that which makes us human. Now, you may think this is ridiculous, that radio stations and even the fact that it's all YOUR music surely defeats some of this surrendering of will talk going on here. I don't think so, because too often has my soulless music machine gone through the same loop over and over and over.

Which brings me to my next condition, "iPod finger" which shall be defined hereafter as:

the uncontrollable infinite cycle of 'nexts' being pushed while iPod is on shuffle to get to a "good" song.

This brings up all sorts of discomfort among those who are far too neurotic about music. When asked, "do you only have music that you like on your iPod?" answers ranged from, "nope" (#1 answer) to "its just music that i thought i would like but ended up hating and i listen to it only if it comes up on random play all or i forget what it is and decide to listen to it again"

when prompted "and if it comes up randomly, do you generally listen to it or skip it?"

the most common response was:

"ill usually let it play for a little and then skip it"

"so why does it stay on there"

"because i'm too lazy to delete it"

This, pretty much verbatim was 9/10 conversations given this topic that i just had with friends via aim.

So what have we learned? Nothing, really. Well, we learned that most people are the same, lazy, impatient, and mostly unwilling to give something new a chance (like me!). Have these personal music players taken away our free will, or simply given us new avenues through wish to express our laziness and lack of decision making ability.

OR

have i overanalyzed everything once again!?

Tune in this week for the 50Cent/Kanye article (FINALLY)

i promise it'll be a great one.